Saturday, April 30, 2011

God's Plans Were Different

i've got some serious updating to do. We've found out a lot in the last couple days, things that have determined Sonia's treatment.

Yesterday morning sonia had a bone scan (this was instead of the MRI originally planned, because Sonia has been congested and had a bit of cough - usually just when she was mad) which showed that the infection causing her leg to be swollen, hot, and firm, is actually in the bone as well :-( they've diagnosed it as Osteomyelitis (Wikipedia definition: Osteomyelitis (osteo- derived from the Greek word osteon, meaning bone, myelo- meaning marrow, and -itis meaning inflammation) simply means an infection of the bone or bone marrow.[1] It can be usefully subclassified on the basis of the causative organism (pyogenic bacteria or mycobacteria), the route, duration and anatomic location of the infection.) 


They have put her on a new, stronger antibiotic to help her recover from this. It will take about 4 weeks to run its course, and once her leg is healed they can start prepping for heart surgery - the reason she came to Miami! This isn't what we planned, but God's timing is perfect. it would have been very difficult to treat this infection in Haiti; she's getting some of the best treatment possible here!

This just one more hurdle on the way to the goal, and there is no hurdle too high for God to scale. i'm praying for a miraculous, inexplainable, quick recovery for Sonia. one that makes people have a double-take and think 'um, how did that happen??'  i know that God's plans may be different than this, and that's fine. He's almighty. But i don't want to miss out on a miracle because i failed to ask for one. people all over the world are praying for this little girl. It's really amazing how one little six month old could capture the hearts of so many people who have never met her. And i know she's incredibly special in the heart of God!

1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
15 And if we know that he hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.



people all over the world are praying for this little girl. It's really amazing how one little six month old could capture the hearts of so many people who have never met her. And i know she's incredibly special in the heart of God!


Lord willing, as long as her new meds are being effective and doing there job, Sonia will be able to come out of the hospital at the beginning of next week and settle in at the Gemmen's home, where she will stay till surgery, and then after surgery, until she's able to return to Haiti. 

Thursday, April 28, 2011

moments that steal my heart

Have you ever had moments where your heart is captured when you least expected? or have you thought that you loved someone as much as you could or would, and then suddenly you're falling in love again? i've had moments like that. many of them. and all in the last few days.


Sometimes when i'm leaning over Sonia's  and talking to her, she reaches up her chubby little brown hand and touches my face, exploring the way my nose, my lips, my cheeks feel. Other times she studies my face with schooled intensity, her dark brown eyes like endless pools of chocolate that i could get lost in. Or she grasps my finger and holds on tight. And sometimes when she cries, my heart squeezes tightly, and i just wish i could take away her discomfort (this usually happens when she's getting examined, so there's really nothing i can do about it!). sometimes when she wakes at night for a feeding at a time i'd really rather be sleeping, she grasps my hair in her little fist, and i just can't begrudge her being hungry :-)


I wasn't expecting this time with Sonia to result in such a deep connection and love; sometimes it quite honestly overwhelms me. Maybe it would be easier to feel more separate and distant, but i believe that this love has come from God.

last evening i was surfing the internet wile sonia napped (i'm so glad they've got wireless here!!!), and i found this song by Racal Flatts. I love a good country song, and that's what this one is. Here are the lyrics:

Rascal Flatts - I Won't Let Go

'It's like a storm that cuts a path; it breaks your will, it feels like that. 
You think you're lost, but you're not lots on your own. You're not alone. I will stand by you, i will help you through; when you've done all you can do, if you can't cope, i will dry your eyes, i will fight your fight, i will hold you tight, and i won't let go. 


it hurts my heart to see you cry. I know it's dark, this part of life. Oh it finds us all, and we're too small to stop the rain. Oh, but when it rains...


i will stand by you. I will help you through. When you've done all you can do and you can't cope, i will dry your eyes, i will fight your fight, i will hold you tight. 
And i won't let you fall. Don't be afraid to fall; i'm right here to catch you. i won't let you down - it won't get you down! you're gonna make it, yea, i know you can make it!'


This is really a song that could be sung as though it's God speaking to our hearts. It may describe kind of how i feel about Sonia, but i know that the only one who can love and care with such depth is God Himself. And this is his promise both to Sonia and to me: He's going to be with us through every step of the way, and He's going to guide every person who has been or will be involved in Sonia's care. I thank God for each and every one of those people!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

His name is El Shaddei, Jehovah Jireh...

It is now day three of Sonia's and my trip to Miami Children's Hospital in Miami, Florida.

The travels went well, with Sonia capturing the attention of many people along the way, from the people we stood by in line, to security at the airport, to the flight attendant... everywhere we went, she seemed to brings smiles to faces and exclamations of 'awww, she's so cute!' we made it through both airports without incident, and met the Gemmens outside the arrivals door.

we had a good evening and night at the Gemman's home, and then on tuesday morning Lisa, Sonia and I prepared to go to the hospital to have a docotor's appointment for a look at the swelling in her leg, and to have an echocardiogram.  because there was a chance she would need to be sedated during the echocardiogram, she wasn't able to eat anything after 8:00 am. she did surprisingly well till her appointment at 3:00, all things considered!

i could go into detail about everything we did yesterday, but that would take too long. the short story is that, because of the swelling in her foot (the cause of which is yet being determined), sonia will not be having surgery this week as was initally planned. there has really not been anything easy about this whole medical visa, but i guess i'd hoped that things would go as planned once we got here, even though i knew they probably wouldn't. we don't know when she'll be able to have surgery now, but it could be a couple weeks. i ask you all to pray for Sonia, myself, and everyone else involved in her treatment! i believe that prayer is very powerful, and that God, Jehovah Jireh, our provider, can bring healing to Sonia's little body in ways that no one could imagine. His will may be different than what we ask, but i believe that in the end, His plans are always perfect, even if the purpose is unclear.

yesterday we met so many people. doctors, nurses, and other personnelle who have been influential in getting Sonia here. People whose names i can't remember because i'm horrible with names, but who have played important rolls in sonia's life already. It's a little overwhelming to see just how many people have been rooting for her! She's really quite popular around here!

Yesterday concluded with Sonia being admitted to the hospital for observation and treatment of her leg. she was able to have her echocardiogram without sedation, and lay still throughout the whole thing, thank God! At about 7:00 she went to have an ultrasound done on her feet. By then she had been poked, prodded, moved, and had so many naps interrupted, that she had just about had it. she was not happy with the proceedure, but once she was done, she fell asleep.

last night i slept beside her bed on a pull-out hospital chair. not the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but it worked, and i did get some sleep. I'm glad i could be there for Sonia, as she'd been through so much already. i think it was good for her to wake up to a familiar face.

yesterday was somewhat overwhelming with so much happening and changing, but by the end of the day, before i went to bed, i realized once again that God is always present, always caring, and  always ready with bucketfulls of peace, wisdome, and strength if i just ask. He is El Shaddai, my supplier. and He is Jehovah Jireh, my provider. Sonia could not be in better hands. Not only is she in the hands of some of the best doctors and surgeuns around, she is most importantly in the hands of God. There's no better place to be! :-)

Today Sonia has an MRI appointment. Other than that, the day is yet unknown. we take it an hour and a day at a time. And God will be with us through it all! :-)

Friday, April 22, 2011

What a Wonderful Saviour!

"Who has believed our message, and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
he grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of a dry ground.
he had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in His appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD'S will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
Therefore i will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."

~ Isaiah 53

This kind of love, the kind that would sacrifice what is cherished the most, is mind-boggling. I cannot grasp the depth of the love the Maker of the universe has for me, a mere speck in the vastness of the heavens. The same love he has for each and every person on the face of this earth! He made the greatest sacrifice; how can i give Him any less than my everything? Why do i still turn away, underestimate His ability, or doubt that His plans for my life are perfect? He already gave His Son so that i could be forgiven for every sin that i ever committed or ever will commit; i could not ask for greater proof of His love. Thank you, Lord, for your love. There is none greater.

Monday, April 18, 2011

a lesson in flexibililty

If there is anything that living in Haiti has taught me and helped me practice, it is flexibility. it is something we tell people when they come: 'please, be ready to be flexible, because plans change....' and it's something i have to remind myself to be as well, from time to time. particularly if i get uptight about changes.

i have learned that icannot set my heart on something happening in the exact way i thought it would, because quite often things change at some point or another! my latest lesson in flexibility is the opportunity i have to escort baby Sonia to Florida for surgery. I'm very excited and honoured to be entrusted with her care! basically i will be flying out with her, staying with her up untill and though her surgery, and once she is ready to be released from the hospital, she will be given into the care of her host family; Sonia and i will be getting to know them over the time that i'm there. After that, i will return to Haiti, and she will stay in Florida through the remainder of her recovery. She's a sweet, darling little girl, and i'm already a little in love! :-)

on thursday we received word that the hospital was ready for us, so my ticket was booked for the following monday (today). plans were being put into action. Then on Friday afternoon Dixie received an email requesting that sonia appear at a fundraiser on the 28th of April, so we are now planning to leave in a week. who knows, though; things can change a lot over the course of a few hours, so untill we're actually at the aiport and sitting on the plane waiting for takoff, i'll be prepared for something to change! :-)

this new development actually works out in our favour, as we are short a person in the office, and if i would have left today, both of  us would have been gone for the same two weeks! God knows what He's doing :-)

Please pray that both Sonia and I will remain healthy, rested and strong so that we are ready for travel and the journy that this sweet baby girl will be taking. I know God's got great plans for her life, and it's such a blessing to be a small part of it!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

mangos in a smoothie.....one of my favourite things!

due to lack of inspiration, i am going to describe to you my new favourite treat.

Mangos are in season, and i have to say that this season may be my favourite. not spring, not summer, fall or winter, but mango. we can drive down nearly any given street, and along the road there will be various women selling a variety of goods. but the ones i love the most are piled in neat little pyramids of three or four, in all their golden glory. in my experience, i have learned that if you want one to eat right away, get a mango that is mostly yellow and a little bit (or a lot) soft to the touch.  these you can squish in your hands some more, and move the pit around inside before biting off the top and sucking out the juices. it's messy, but oh so yummy! if you want one to keep for a few days, get one that is more green and is still firm. and if you want one with which to make a mango smoothie, well, there are pros and cons to use of either. if you use a soft one, juices will squish between your fingers and run down your wrists as you cut the flesh from the pit. however, that mango bursts with flavour! if you use a firmer one, they aren't quite so messy, but maybe not quite so sweet. (now, remember, this is from my limited experience, so it could very well not be accurate!). in the last few weeks i've had multiple mango smoothies, and each one has been a delight to indulge in. the perfect mixture of mango, ice, milk, maybe a little sugar, and sometimes some pineapple or banana all blended together to make a wonderful, refreshing, healthy drink.

as i write, susie's and my latest concoction sits beside me in all its orange, smooth, thick, cold, mango-y glory, backlit by the soft glow of a lamp. from time to time i take a sip and revel in the simple pleasure of a mango smoothie. it just goes to show that the best things in life are not necessarily free, and neither are they ridiculously expensive. they are just a pile of three mostly golden, rather mushy pieces of fruit that cost 25 gourds (approx. 60 cents).

i love being in Haiti. mostly because this is the place that God called me, and it's where my heart is at home. even after a hard day, i know that for now, this is where God wants me; and that makes it worth it all. mangos are just a side-benefit. the perks of the job, if you will.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Down Memory Lane

This morning while organizing one of the drawers in the office, i came across some DVDs labeled 'GLA Kids 2009'. In the office we took a few minutes to check them out and see what they were all about. it was neat to watch footage of the babies and kids who were here two years ago (ones that i knew), but have now gone home to their forever families; most of whom have been home for over a year now :-)

We thought that the nannies would enjoy seeing these videos as well, so this afternoon while most babies were down for their naps, we went to the nursery with laptop and DVD in hand, set it on one of the little wicker chairs, and invited all the nannies to come watch it. they all gathered around, and for five minutes we went back in time. i loved listening to their comments and exclamations as the faces of 'their' babies played on the screen. These ladies love all the children who come into their care, and their appreciation of being able to watch this video was made even more evident when we reached the end and they asked to see it again! :-)

It was special to be able to share that time with the ladies in the nursery and NICU who give so much to our kids; women who are essentially the babies mommies, meeting their needs until they go to their forever families. we appreciate them so much! God bless our nannies and nurses!