All that said, I have felt that God is calling me to a season of getting to know Him more intimately and having a greater understanding of His heart. I have the opportunity to attend a leadership training program called Ellerslie which is based in Windsor, Colorado. It is a nine week program that starts in October, and goes to mid-December. I'm looking forward to that time! Also, my brother is getting married in September (:-D!!!!), so I will be moving home at the end of August. It's exciting to look to what the rest of this year holds, but it is also extremely difficult to imagine what life will be like away from this organization that has become like my second home, these people who have become my second family, these babies and kids who unkowingly hold a huge portion of my heart, and this country that seems to 'pale nan ke m''(speak to my heart) like nothing else.
I do not look forward to the day that I pack up my suitcases, tell everyone goodbye (whether it be for a little or a long while), climb into the vehicle, bounce up that bumpy 'wout' one last time, drive through these familiar streets and head down the winding mountain road to the airport. I do not look forward to taking that last breath of Haiti air; to getting on that plane; to taking off and watching those beloved mountains (deye mon, gen mon. Behind the mountains, more mountains) get smaller and smaller and eventually disappear from view. If I thought it was hard the other times I did that, it's going to be ten times harder this time! However, I have a deep peace about this decision. I do not doubt that this is God's plan for the rest of this year. Anything beyond that, I do not know yet. He will reveal the next step in His perfect time. He never fails, and He will be there to carry me when I don't feel like I can do it on my own. A verse that I hold onto tightly is from Matthew 28:20 where it says '....and lo, I am with you always. Even unto the end of the world.' It does not matter where or to what God leads me; what matters is that He is with me! He may bring me back here again, or He may lead me in a completely different direction. My job is to be open to the leading of the Lover of my soul!
This summer is going to be a busy one; I have new responsibilities to take on while one of my co-workers is in the States for two months and others are out for shorter periods. It is exciting to have this opportunity to try my hand at another role here, but it will keep me busy! Thankfully, I won't be alone!
Before I know it, the next two months will be over. However, I will do my best to focus on each day as it comes and get the most out of/put the most into it that i can. I do not want to leave with 'I wish I'd done this' or 'If only I had done that'. What I want to leave here with is: 'wow! Look what God did! Look how amazingly He works things together for good! Look how He always provides! Look how He uses imperfect, faulty humans, and somehow brings about something good!' What I need to remember is that it is not about what I can do or how I can make a difference (there are an awful lot of 'I's in this blog post), but about what God can do, and how God can make a difference. For whatever reason, He simply chooses to use this broken, cracked vessel. 2 Corinthians 4:7 'But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.' (Read the whole chapter; it's all good!)
Any prayers would be much appreciated! Pray that I will be able to keep my head on straight and that I would do my jobs thoroughly and correctly. Pray that I would make every moment count. Pray that God would be glorified in everything, because it is all about Him!
"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts into our lives, is the perfect preparation for a future only He can see." Corrie ten Boom
