Three Precious Words

One of our little guys here has lately started repeating words, calling people by name, and greeting those who enter or leave the nursery. for a while he has been saying my name, and any time he sees me he shouts 'emelyne!' when i leave the house and he's out on the balcony, he calls out to me and loves when i greet him back! lately he has started to blow kisses without being encouraged to first. he says 'bye bye' and waves, then puts his little hand to his mouth, and with a 'mah!' he blows a kiss.  his latest accomplishment has been to repeat three very precious words: 'i love you'. i say his name, he says 'mmm?', i say 'i love you', and he says 'ah lah loo' with the same intonation, eyes glowing. it's incredibly precious! it warms my heart to see him advancing so much. i'm amazed at how much i love this little guy with a huge personality!

it was just 'goodbye for now'

On sunday, mother's day, (i'd just like to say that i am so thankful for my mom!) i hung out with Sonia for a few hours in the afternoon. Finally it was time for me to say goodbye and head home with the Gemmens', as my flight left the next day. One last time (for now) i held Sonia in my arms and prayed for her. I prayed that God would give her strength for everything she has yet to face; i prayed for the doctors and nurses and everyone involved in her care, that God would give them wisdom and guide their hands; and i thanked God for the wonderful family who is caring for her until she can return to Haiti. And i cried a little. i have learned to love this little girl so much!

finally, i laid her in her bed and covered her with her yellow crocheted blanket which has been with her from the start (and which, by the way, was almost as good at settling her as i was! lol.). i bent over her and gave her kisses, and then just looked at her beautiful little face. She looked back at me. then she reached up with her little hand, fingers poking through her blanket, and touched my face. Then i gave her one last kiss, said goodbye, and walked down the hall with the Gemmens'.

i was amazed at the support and interest people had in sonia's case. especially the way the hospital just got on board  and did what needed to be done to get Sonia well enough for surgery! None of us were expecting all of this, but it has been awesome to see their willingness to help a little girl from a little country just a couple hours south of Florida!

I'm so thankful for the Gemmens' who have so willingly opened their home to Sonia, and who have been so influential in making this possible; for the churches who have been involved in so many ways; for the many women who have been willing to step in and help lighten the load by sleeping with Sonia at night or being there during the day if needed. every person has been so influential and helpful!
please continue to keep Sonia and her caregivers in your prayers. the journey is not over for them, and they will need grace and strength for all that still lies ahead! also, pray for complete body health for Sonia! she needs to be very healthy for them to do heart surgery!

i loved having the opportunity that i did in caring for Sonia and meeting all the wonderful people involved in so many ways! and i didn't mind at all when hospital personnel came in and called me 'mommy' ;-) it was fun to be sonia's surrogate mommy for a while! i wouldn't trade those two weeks for anything. i learned a lot about flexibility, faith, love, and trust over the two weeks that i spent with Sonia in the hospital (and FYI, i wasn't just at the hospital; i got to experience some of miami and the beach, too! :-p).

What can separate us from the love of God?

Sonia just awakened from a nap and began cooing contentedly and softly; she studies the hand that wears a sock intended to keep her from pulling on her PICC line. She lays in her hospital bed. a bed we had all hoped she would have vacated by now.

The antibiotics seem to be doing their job, as the swelling in her foot and leg has gone down significantly. However, she has had a fever both of the last two nights. The wonderful staff here are doing various tests to see if they can pinpoint the cause of these fevers. I pray that they do, and that it's something quickly and easily taken care of. we all want her to be able to get out of here to stay at her host family's house for the duration of her treatment!

I don't know why there have been so many hurdles and setbacks. i don't know why this can't just be simple and quick. What exactly is God doing? Something bigger than i can understand, that's for sure! this morning when i came back to the hospital after spending the day yesterday with a friend of mine and then spending the night at the Gemmens, i held her in my arms and spoke with one of her doctors. After the doctor left, i finally did what i've been almost afraid to do ever since the first night she was admitted. i pressed my face against her little head resting against my chest, and i cried out to God. I let the tears for this little girl fall that i'd been holding back. it's not that i haven't been praying for Sonia; it's that i sometimes kept myself at arms' length when i did in order to maintain composure. Don't ask me why i did that, cause i don't know; God definitely didn't ask any of us to do this alone! an unknown is once again before us (when she will be discharged/what is causing these fevers); but unknowns do not make God any less powerful. In fact, it is at these times that His strength is best displayed. as the saying goes, 'It is on the darkest night that the stars shine the brightest.' Standing there with tears on my cheeks and begging God to heal her body was cleansing. And turning it over go God once again brought peace.

I don't know why i'm writing with this kind of detail. I usually don't make feelings like this public. Maybe i am doing so because this is not my personal struggle; there are countless prayers from so many people that are being lifted to heaven on behalf of Sonia. People everywhere have been touched by her story. Ones who have never met her - and may never meet her - have given of themselves to show love in various, awesome ways to this little girl.  

i have been reminded that there is nothing that is outside the realm of God's power. Some verses came to mind while writing this:

Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? [shall] tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Beside me, Sonia contentedly coos, kicks her little legs, and sucks her finger. This little girl is anything but separated from the love of God, and i believe that God has big plans for her!

Sonia's antibiotics are doing their job :-)

Over the weekend Sonia had a PICC line put in, which can stay in for 4-6 weeks as opposed to an IV which only lasts several days. This will allow for easier administration of her antibiotic over the next four weeks. The nurse had quite a time getting the line put in, having tried unsuccessfully Saturday afternoon, and then trying again the evening when Sonia was sedated (the needles understandably made her mad, so it was easier when she was asleep through the whole thing). She was finally successful; i was happy to have it over! 

Sonia's blood was tested to make sure that she's getting correct amounts of the antibiotic, and her levels came back good, so that's great! 

the last couple days Sonia has been much more verbal and chatty than she had been. she's a sweetheart! i love listening to her sweet little voice babble on and on! last night around 10:00 when i was ready to fall asleep, she was lying in her bed chatting away. she seemed ready to have a slumber party while i was just ready to fall asleep! lol

God's Plans Were Different

i've got some serious updating to do. We've found out a lot in the last couple days, things that have determined Sonia's treatment.

Yesterday morning sonia had a bone scan (this was instead of the MRI originally planned, because Sonia has been congested and had a bit of cough - usually just when she was mad) which showed that the infection causing her leg to be swollen, hot, and firm, is actually in the bone as well :-( they've diagnosed it as Osteomyelitis (Wikipedia definition: Osteomyelitis (osteo- derived from the Greek word osteon, meaning bone, myelo- meaning marrow, and -itis meaning inflammation) simply means an infection of the bone or bone marrow.^[1] It can be usefully subclassified on the basis of the causative organism (pyogenic bacteria or mycobacteria), the route, duration and anatomic location of the infection.) 


They have put her on a new, stronger antibiotic to help her recover from this. It will take about 4 weeks to run its course, and once her leg is healed they can start prepping for heart surgery - the reason she came to Miami! This isn't what we planned, but God's timing is perfect. it would have been very difficult to treat this infection in Haiti; she's getting some of the best treatment possible here!

This just one more hurdle on the way to the goal, and there is no hurdle too high for God to scale. i'm praying for a miraculous, inexplainable, quick recovery for Sonia. one that makes people have a double-take and think 'um, how did that happen??'  i know that God's plans may be different than this, and that's fine. He's almighty. But i don't want to miss out on a miracle because i failed to ask for one. people all over the world are praying for this little girl. It's really amazing how one little six month old could capture the hearts of so many people who have never met her. And i know she's incredibly special in the heart of God!

1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
15 And if we know that he hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.


people all over the world are praying for this little girl. It's really amazing how one little six month old could capture the hearts of so many people who have never met her. And i know she's incredibly special in the heart of God!


Lord willing, as long as her new meds are being effective and doing there job, Sonia will be able to come out of the hospital at the beginning of next week and settle in at the Gemmen's home, where she will stay till surgery, and then after surgery, until she's able to return to Haiti. 

moments that steal my heart

Have you ever had moments where your heart is captured when you least expected? or have you thought that you loved someone as much as you could or would, and then suddenly you're falling in love again? i've had moments like that. many of them. and all in the last few days.

Sometimes when i'm leaning over Sonia's  and talking to her, she reaches up her chubby little brown hand and touches my face, exploring the way my nose, my lips, my cheeks feel. Other times she studies my face with schooled intensity, her dark brown eyes like endless pools of chocolate that i could get lost in. Or she grasps my finger and holds on tight. And sometimes when she cries, my heart squeezes tightly, and i just wish i could take away her discomfort (this usually happens when she's getting examined, so there's really nothing i can do about it!). sometimes when she wakes at night for a feeding at a time i'd really rather be sleeping, she grasps my hair in her little fist, and i just can't begrudge her being hungry :-)

I wasn't expecting this time with Sonia to result in such a deep connection and love; sometimes it quite honestly overwhelms me. Maybe it would be easier to feel more separate and distant, but i believe that this love has come from God.

last evening i was surfing the internet wile sonia napped (i'm so glad they've got wireless here!!!), and i found this song by Racal Flatts. I love a good country song, and that's what this one is. Here are the lyrics:

Rascal Flatts - I Won't Let Go

'It's like a storm that cuts a path; it breaks your will, it feels like that. 
You think you're lost, but you're not lots on your own. You're not alone. I will stand by you, i will help you through; when you've done all you can do, if you can't cope, i will dry your eyes, i will fight your fight, i will hold you tight, and i won't let go. 


it hurts my heart to see you cry. I know it's dark, this part of life. Oh it finds us all, and we're too small to stop the rain. Oh, but when it rains...


i will stand by you. I will help you through. When you've done all you can do and you can't cope, i will dry your eyes, i will fight your fight, i will hold you tight. 
And i won't let you fall. Don't be afraid to fall; i'm right here to catch you. i won't let you down - it won't get you down! you're gonna make it, yea, i know you can make it!'


This is really a song that could be sung as though it's God speaking to our hearts. It may describe kind of how i feel about Sonia, but i know that the only one who can love and care with such depth is God Himself. And this is his promise both to Sonia and to me: He's going to be with us through every step of the way, and He's going to guide every person who has been or will be involved in Sonia's care. I thank God for each and every one of those people!

His name is El Shaddei, Jehovah Jireh...

It is now day three of Sonia's and my trip to Miami Children's Hospital in Miami, Florida.

The travels went well, with Sonia capturing the attention of many people along the way, from the people we stood by in line, to security at the airport, to the flight attendant... everywhere we went, she seemed to brings smiles to faces and exclamations of 'awww, she's so cute!' we made it through both airports without incident, and met the Gemmens outside the arrivals door.

we had a good evening and night at the Gemman's home, and then on tuesday morning Lisa, Sonia and I prepared to go to the hospital to have a docotor's appointment for a look at the swelling in her leg, and to have an echocardiogram.  because there was a chance she would need to be sedated during the echocardiogram, she wasn't able to eat anything after 8:00 am. she did surprisingly well till her appointment at 3:00, all things considered!

i could go into detail about everything we did yesterday, but that would take too long. the short story is that, because of the swelling in her foot (the cause of which is yet being determined), sonia will not be having surgery this week as was initally planned. there has really not been anything easy about this whole medical visa, but i guess i'd hoped that things would go as planned once we got here, even though i knew they probably wouldn't. we don't know when she'll be able to have surgery now, but it could be a couple weeks. i ask you all to pray for Sonia, myself, and everyone else involved in her treatment! i believe that prayer is very powerful, and that God, Jehovah Jireh, our provider, can bring healing to Sonia's little body in ways that no one could imagine. His will may be different than what we ask, but i believe that in the end, His plans are always perfect, even if the purpose is unclear.

yesterday we met so many people. doctors, nurses, and other personnelle who have been influential in getting Sonia here. People whose names i can't remember because i'm horrible with names, but who have played important rolls in sonia's life already. It's a little overwhelming to see just how many people have been rooting for her! She's really quite popular around here!

Yesterday concluded with Sonia being admitted to the hospital for observation and treatment of her leg. she was able to have her echocardiogram without sedation, and lay still throughout the whole thing, thank God! At about 7:00 she went to have an ultrasound done on her feet. By then she had been poked, prodded, moved, and had so many naps interrupted, that she had just about had it. she was not happy with the proceedure, but once she was done, she fell asleep.

last night i slept beside her bed on a pull-out hospital chair. not the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but it worked, and i did get some sleep. I'm glad i could be there for Sonia, as she'd been through so much already. i think it was good for her to wake up to a familiar face.

yesterday was somewhat overwhelming with so much happening and changing, but by the end of the day, before i went to bed, i realized once again that God is always present, always caring, and  always ready with bucketfulls of peace, wisdome, and strength if i just ask. He is El Shaddai, my supplier. and He is Jehovah Jireh, my provider. Sonia could not be in better hands. Not only is she in the hands of some of the best doctors and surgeuns around, she is most importantly in the hands of God. There's no better place to be! :-)

Today Sonia has an MRI appointment. Other than that, the day is yet unknown. we take it an hour and a day at a time. And God will be with us through it all! :-)