Somewhere In The Middle

lately i have been challenged over and over to live a life of whole hearted abandon to Christ. to live as though the only thing that matters is loving and being loved by God. i recently finished a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan which basically reminds readers of how huge and worthy our God is, how small and really insignificant we are in comparison to the entire universe, and how God doesn't NEED us, but that He WANTS us, and wishes to use us to fulfill His plans and purposes. i highly recommend reading it! here is the website if you are interested in finding out more about it. http://crazylovebook.com/

As much as i wish i could say that i am at the point where i am totally sold out to God, i'm afraid i can't. i know that i'm still somewhere in the middle, and that deep end is, quite frankly, rather frightening. to come to the point of laying everything down - hopes, dreams, plans - and saying 'God, i want to do whatever You want me to do' (taking into consideration that this COULD mean leaving family, friends, and life as we knew it, and spending a lifetime living out in the middle of a jungle or a desert with no modern conveniences and no connection to the outside world, and possibly never returning home) and honestly be ok with it, is a huge thing. There's a great song by Casting Crowns that pretty much spells out the challenge. It's called 'Somewhere in The Middle'. my big thing is this: 'just how close can i get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?' to be brutally, completely honest, i struggle with telling God 'here i am; you can do whatever you want with me'. it's a prayer that i'm still a little afraid to pray, not because i don't want to or don't believe that His plans outshine my own by a million, but because i don't know what is going to become of it. it's a little like driving blindfolded and trusting that the person beside you is going to give you accurate directions. but then, God's supposed to be the one in the driver seat!

Somewhere in The Middle ~ Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side

Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DveYBno-pmQ

it's easy to be a fearless warrior when you never have to face a fear. it's not difficult to have faith that you won't drown when your feet can still touch the bottom and your head's above the water. faith to move a mountain is not hard if you've never had a mountain that needed to move. Christianity and living for God is not easy; it's not intended to be, and Jesus never promised that it would be. Living in this world and working for Christ pretty much guarantees that there will be fights and battles. it may mean having to stand up and fight for freedom of little girls who have been sold into sex slavery (http://www.ijm.org/). it may mean fighting to free boys and girls who have been forced to become child soldiers (http://www.child-soldiers.org/childsoldiers/child-soldiers). it may mean caring for orphaned children. it may mean raising children in a Christ centred home and teaching them to follow hard after God. it may, and really should, mean hand to hand combat with forces of hell. and after all that, we may never see results of our work this side of heaven. 

each of us has a different calling, a different gift, and a unique supporting role in this huge, amazing story that God is scripting. we are highly privileged to be a part of this story! although God never manifests His will in each life in the same way, we all have one thing in common; We are serving the same God; we have the same promise of eternity, forgiveness, peace that passes understanding, hope that makes no sense to the world, and confidence in our place in God's hand.

right now i feel a little like one of those soldiers standing at the gate of my safe picket fence, not sure if i'm quite ready to step outside. the Giver of the deepest, most sincere, most inexplainable love there is is standing outside the gate beckoning, encouraging, promising to be beside me...... i don't want to hold back because of fear! i challenge you to join me on this amazing journey of learning to trust and follow the One who loves us with the craziest of all loves. a love crazy enough to give up His one and only Son so that every person who ever walks this earth would have access to the greatest gift there could ever be; salvation. 

‎"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord."
-Sir Francis Drake

NOT just another lightning post!

k, i know i've had a couple posts about how incredible the lightning storms are here, but i've gotta make another. BECAUSE.......tonight was the first night that i was ever able to capture it in a photo! i've had several people explain to me how to do it; how the shutter speed needs to be slow and the camera on a stable surface, ect. but it took me actually taking some time and playing around with my camera to figure it out. and i was just blessed enough to capture a few forks of lightning among the 50 some pictures i took. it's kind of addicting!
 because there was a lot of sheet lightning flashing almost constantly, i found that sometimes when there was a lot of other light entering my lens while the shutter was open, any fork lighting would be drowned out. HOWEVER, i did get a few shots where the forks are beautifully obvious, and many where the constant flashes lit up the clouds like daylight. i am pretty pumped about this accomplishment!

Flashes of Lightning

Tonight i was awed by the beauty and majesty of God's handiwork. i have never, ever in my life seen so much, or such beautiful, lightening! For a period of time it was literally flash after flash after flash that split the sky with it's brightness. sometimes it was sheet lightning that lit up the clouds, and others it was bolts of lightening that shot across the sky. there was no thunder and no rain; just lightening. and it rivalled any fireworks show!


Sun and moon stood still in the heavens at the glint of your flying arrows, at the lightning of your flashing spear. Habakkuk 3:11

if clouds are chariots (photo/psalm post)

Psalm 104

 ¹Bless the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty.

 ²Who coverest thyself with light as with a garment: who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain:

 ³Who layeth the beams of his chambers in the waters: who maketh the clouds his chariot: who walketh upon the wings of the wind:

 ⁴Who maketh his angels spirits; his ministers a flaming fire:

 ⁵Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever.

 ⁶Thou coveredst it with the deep as with a garment: the waters stood above the mountains.

 ⁷At thy rebuke they fled; at the voice of thy thunder they hasted away.

 ⁸They go up by the mountains; they go down by the valleys unto the place which thou hast founded for them.

 ⁹Thou hast set a bound that they may not pass over; that they turn not again to cover the earth.

 ¹⁰He sendeth the springs into the valleys, which run among the hills.

 ¹¹They give drink to every beast of the field: the wild asses quench their thirst.

 ¹²By them shall the fowls of the heaven have their habitation, which sing among the branches.

 ¹³He watereth the hills from his chambers: the earth is satisfied with the fruit of thy works.

 ¹⁴He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth;

 ¹⁵And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart.

 ¹⁶The trees of the LORD are full of sap; the cedars of Lebanon, which he hath planted;

 ¹⁷Where the birds make their nests: as for the stork, the fir trees are her house.

 ¹⁸The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats; and the rocks for the conies.

 ¹⁹He appointed the moon for seasons: the sun knoweth his going down.

 ²⁰Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.

 ²¹The young lions roar after their prey, and seek their meat from God.

 ²²The sun ariseth, they gather themselves together, and lay them down in their dens.

 ²³Man goeth forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening.

 ²⁴O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches.

 ²⁵So is this great and wide sea, wherein are things creeping innumerable, both small and great beasts.

 ²⁶There go the ships: there is that leviathan, whom thou hast made to play therein.

 ²⁷These wait all upon thee; that thou mayest give them their meat in due season.

 ²⁸That thou givest them they gather: thou openest thine hand, they are filled with good.

 ²⁹Thou hidest thy face, they are troubled: thou takest away their breath, they die, and return to their dust.

 ³⁰Thou sendest forth thy spirit, they are created: and thou renewest the face of the earth.

 ³¹The glory of the LORD shall endure for ever: the LORD shall rejoice in his works.

 ³²He looketh on the earth, and it trembleth: he toucheth the hills, and they smoke.

 ³³I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.

 ³⁴My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD.

 ³⁵Let the sinners be consumed out of the earth, and let the wicked be no more. Bless thou the LORD, O my soul. Praise ye the LORD.

ponderings on the rooftop

¹ Praise the LORD.^[j]

   Praise the LORD, you his servants;
   praise the name of the LORD.
² Let the name of the LORD be praised,
   both now and forevermore.
³ From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
   the name of the LORD is to be praised.

 ⁴ The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
   his glory above the heavens.
⁵ Who is like the LORD our God,
   the One who sits enthroned on high,
⁶ who stoops down to look
   on the heavens and the earth?

 ⁷ He raises the poor from the dust
   and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
⁸ he seats them with princes,
   with the princes of his people.
⁹ He settles the childless woman in her home
   as a happy mother of children.

   Praise the LORD.

Psalm 113

i don't believe that words could ever describe the awesome God that i love and try to {the Lord knows i could do better!} serve. less often than i should be, i am in awe of just how amazing He is. to think that the One who created everything would take the time to not just look, but to stoop, down to each person on this earth and take a personal interest in their lives is amazing. but what is even more amazing is to think that this same God knew each and every person who has ever walked this earth, be it for a hundred years or just a few days, with the deepest of intimacies before we were even formed! He knows every hurt, joy, injustice, and struggle we will ever face, and He WANTS to go through everything with us from the first to the last time we draw breath. he WANTS to be our greatest need and desire. He doesn't NEED us to love Him, but he WANTS us to; he wants us to find our security in Him. God doesn't NEED me, but He does WANT me. how amazing is that?

the other amazing thing that stands out to me in this passage is that He will raise the poor from the dust, the needy from the ash heap, and seat them with the princes. it's not just Haiti where innumerable people suffer from poverty and struggle to survive. it happens all over the world. In Heaven it won't be like that. there will be no 'respect of persons'. it won't matter that one person has their Masters or a university education, and another at the age of 70 never made it through the first grade or learned to write his or her own name. what will matter is that they made Jesus their Master, Saviour, and Everything. what will matter is that their name is written in the Lamb's book of Life.

today, as i sit on the rooftop writing and watching the sun dip below the mountain, i am reminded of who God is and who i am. He is the reason i exist. life is but a breath that can be taken away in an instant. in the grand scheme of things my life is but a sentence in God's big story. who and what am i going to make of my small contribution be about? 

Sonia's Back!

 Matthew 25: 45, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of the least of these, you did it unto Me.”


on thursday the Gemmen's brought Sonia back to Haiti! i, along with everyone else here, was so excited to see her again! i could not believe how much she'd grown in the last three months. she's so beautiful and strong and big now! and that smile...... ;-) i'm very thankful that i took her to Florida three months ago and not now, because i don't know how i'd have managed carrying such a solid baby around. i don't know for sure if she remembers me or not; now that she's warmed up a little, she seems happy to see me, for which i'm glad.

there's a verse in the Bible that says 'Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have entertained angels without knowing it.' Hebrews 13:2
so many people have been so instrumental in loving and caring for this little girl. The Gemmen's who were with her through it all, the surgeons, doctors, nurses, social workers, and all the other hospital personnel who made Sonia's care possible; people from various churches that i know were so helpful to Al and Lisa, and possibly some other people whose impact we may never known. :-)  each of these people allowed themselves to be vessels of God's love and healing touch to Sonia, and in doing so, they 'entertained' one of our angels.

now that Sonia is back at GLA, we will work together to do our utmost to provide, love, and care for our little Haitian princess. there is no lack of people willing to shower love and affection on her! please pray along with us that Sonia would remain strong and healthy for the duration of her stay at God's Littlest Angels, however long that may be.

even through the valley

'even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.' Psalm 23:4

today was a very difficult day for everyone at GLA. this morning we said goodbye to a long-time staff member and beloved lady, friend, and mother to several children. we had learned that she had cancer on her brain and knew that her situation was delicate, but i was not expecting her to pass as quickly as she did. at home in canada (and in most first world countries) treatment for the many forms of this disease or so readily available; that is not the case for many here.

today, cancer took the physical life of a beautiful, vibrant woman who was somebody's mother, somebody's friend, and God's daughter. although she left behind so many who will miss and mourn her death, she is no longer in pain or discomfort; she is in the presence of the creator of the universe, the lover of her soul. but my heart aches for her children, some of whom are at big milestones in their lives, who now must adjust to life without their mother. i can't imagine that pain.

it was a subdued, downcast environment through the whole house today. i never know what to say to people or do when hard times like this happen. thankfully, words are often not necessary. one of the best things i can do is to carry them to Jesus and pray that He comfort their hearts and hold them up. i ask that you join me in this. no matter where you are you can show love and support for the grieving family and friends by carrying them to the One whose heart aches and knows our pains. Only He can heal the ache that Exilia's death left behind.