On this day, May 26th, three years ago on a sunny morning in the mountains of Haiti, I said goodbye to the children and people who had become so special to me. Up until that point in my life (all 19 years of it) I had never experienced something so difficult! Before I left the Toddler House, all the kids had come into the yard to sing the 'Au Revoir' song for me. It was all I could do to keep it together, and i didn't do the greatest job of it. Not only did they sing for me, but they also all came up to me and either gave me a hug or a kiss on the cheek. It nearly broke my heart to say goodbye to the kids! Somehow, by the grace of God, I walked out that gate and hiked down the hill for the last time. I didn't know if or when I would ever be back, and it was hard to leave, even though I knew that the children did not 'need' me; they had wonderful caregivers who loved them and cared for them every day!
God used the experiences I had in the six and a half months prior to that day (and that days as well, I'm sure) to give me a sense of His heart and begin a work in mine. If I had not come to Haiti the first time in 2008, I would possibly not be where I am today (which is, ironically, in Haiti). But as always, God's plans are perfect, and He has a purpose in everything, whether it be to change, shape, encourage, even break us; but ultimately to draw us closer to Him. Romans 8:28 says 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.' That was three years ago.
Today on this day, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend a day at the beach with the awesome people who are my coworkers and friends, as well as the great group of volunteers we have right now. It was a great day of sunshine, beach, sand, salt water, pool, sunburn (even though i re-applied the sunscreen SO many times!), friendship, and celebrating birthdays and anniversaries.
Over the course of the day, I didn't think much of it being an anniversary for me; I knew it was either today or tomorrow, but I couldn't remember for sure. I did, however, think about the fact that this could be the last opportunity I have to go to that beach. Because on the day after this day, in three months, I will be once again saying goodbye. Only this time it will be even harder because I have grown to know and love these people and the kids even more than I did the last time I left. I don't know when I will be back, although I'm sure I will be at some point, even if only to visit. I have no idea what God has in store for me after this year, but I do have the confidence that, as excruciating as it is going to be to leave, He is calling me back to Ontario for at least a time, whether it be a few months, a year, a couple years.... I am excited about the things that i know will happen after I go home, but I don't want these next three months to end; I wish they would pass slowly, but that isn't likely because each month seems to go faster and faster, and it is going to be a busy summer. I'll just have to take it a day at a time, invest myself in the people and children here, trust God to use me for His work and to give me the strength to do it, and remind myself that time is short so i need to cherish it. God has me here right now; this is His will for me at this moment, and I need to use every opportunity to do the work He has for me.
"For I know the plans i have for you" declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
