It's been a year!

It's been a year since i packed up my suitcases and bid my family farewell to go spend three months volunteering at GLA. at that point, all i knew was the next three months and from there on out it was up to God to make it clear. Well He did. I became staff and three months became six months, six months became a year, and a year became a year and a half. from there, i don't know. once again, that's in God's hands, and i know that in time He'll make it clear! :-)

in some ways, September 14th 2010 seems like so long ago. a lot has happened, i've learned a lot, i've grown a lot, and i've met a lot of incredible people. But most of all, God has never failed to show Himself faithful. it is such a privilege to be able to serve Him in this place that i love so much, and i am excited about what the future holds, not just in my life, but in the future of God's Littlest Angels, Eglise D'espoir, Thomassin 32, Petionville, and Haiti as a whole. there is so much potential in all these, and i am privileged to be witness to (and a little tiny part of) it! Sometimes i forget just how blessed i am.

there's a quote i love by one of my favourite fictional characters, Anne of Green Gables. She says:

'When I left Queen's [University] my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla. I wonder how the road beyond it goes--what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows--what new landscapes--what new beauties--what curves and hills and valleys further on." 'Anne of Green Gables' by L.M. Montgomery, Chapter XXXVIII

Sometimes my life feels a little like one of these mountain roads. when you've rounded one bend, you're bound to come upon another. The views around those bends can be absolutely breathtaking; each one is different than the last, but the anticipation of what may be beyond is quite thrilling. how awesome to have a Master Route Planner in charge! :-D

Thank you God for an incredible year!

Somewhere In The Middle

lately i have been challenged over and over to live a life of whole hearted abandon to Christ. to live as though the only thing that matters is loving and being loved by God. i recently finished a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan which basically reminds readers of how huge and worthy our God is, how small and really insignificant we are in comparison to the entire universe, and how God doesn't NEED us, but that He WANTS us, and wishes to use us to fulfill His plans and purposes. i highly recommend reading it! here is the website if you are interested in finding out more about it. http://crazylovebook.com/

As much as i wish i could say that i am at the point where i am totally sold out to God, i'm afraid i can't. i know that i'm still somewhere in the middle, and that deep end is, quite frankly, rather frightening. to come to the point of laying everything down - hopes, dreams, plans - and saying 'God, i want to do whatever You want me to do' (taking into consideration that this COULD mean leaving family, friends, and life as we knew it, and spending a lifetime living out in the middle of a jungle or a desert with no modern conveniences and no connection to the outside world, and possibly never returning home) and honestly be ok with it, is a huge thing. There's a great song by Casting Crowns that pretty much spells out the challenge. It's called 'Somewhere in The Middle'. my big thing is this: 'just how close can i get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?' to be brutally, completely honest, i struggle with telling God 'here i am; you can do whatever you want with me'. it's a prayer that i'm still a little afraid to pray, not because i don't want to or don't believe that His plans outshine my own by a million, but because i don't know what is going to become of it. it's a little like driving blindfolded and trusting that the person beside you is going to give you accurate directions. but then, God's supposed to be the one in the driver seat!

Somewhere in The Middle ~ Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side

Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DveYBno-pmQ

it's easy to be a fearless warrior when you never have to face a fear. it's not difficult to have faith that you won't drown when your feet can still touch the bottom and your head's above the water. faith to move a mountain is not hard if you've never had a mountain that needed to move. Christianity and living for God is not easy; it's not intended to be, and Jesus never promised that it would be. Living in this world and working for Christ pretty much guarantees that there will be fights and battles. it may mean having to stand up and fight for freedom of little girls who have been sold into sex slavery (http://www.ijm.org/). it may mean fighting to free boys and girls who have been forced to become child soldiers (http://www.child-soldiers.org/childsoldiers/child-soldiers). it may mean caring for orphaned children. it may mean raising children in a Christ centred home and teaching them to follow hard after God. it may, and really should, mean hand to hand combat with forces of hell. and after all that, we may never see results of our work this side of heaven. 

each of us has a different calling, a different gift, and a unique supporting role in this huge, amazing story that God is scripting. we are highly privileged to be a part of this story! although God never manifests His will in each life in the same way, we all have one thing in common; We are serving the same God; we have the same promise of eternity, forgiveness, peace that passes understanding, hope that makes no sense to the world, and confidence in our place in God's hand.

right now i feel a little like one of those soldiers standing at the gate of my safe picket fence, not sure if i'm quite ready to step outside. the Giver of the deepest, most sincere, most inexplainable love there is is standing outside the gate beckoning, encouraging, promising to be beside me...... i don't want to hold back because of fear! i challenge you to join me on this amazing journey of learning to trust and follow the One who loves us with the craziest of all loves. a love crazy enough to give up His one and only Son so that every person who ever walks this earth would have access to the greatest gift there could ever be; salvation. 

‎"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord."
-Sir Francis Drake